Let’s Talk About the Care–Money Double Bind

You’re not imagining it:
You were handed a model of helping work that made care the virtue and compensation the compromise.
And now, in a world where therapy practices are being bought by private equity and your clients are afraid to spend, you’re being asked to hold more than ever—without enough support.

No wonder it feels complicated -  like too much.

We want to serve our communities with integrity.
We also need to pay our bills, plan for our futures, and stop feeling behind.
But the field often forces us to choose.

That double bind—the one that says you can care or you can earn, but not both—is a lie.
But it’s one we’ve internalized deeply.

Try This: Finish the Sentence

Grab a pen, open a blank doc, or just sit quietly and let your mind wander.

Complete these phrases—no pressure to be polished:

• I feel pressure to…

• I’m tired of pretending…

• I know my work matters when…

• I’m afraid clients will think…

• I want a business that feels…

Let it be raw. Let it be contradictory. Let it be yours.

When you read them back, notice:
What’s true? What’s yours? What never was?

This is the beginning of disentangling yourself from a system that taught us our needs were secondary, our worth conditional, and our work a luxury instead of lifeblood.

 Present Bias, Recession Talk & Consumer Fear

Right now, many of us are operating in present bias—doing what we can to survive today while feeling cut off from our future selves. We’ve also been trained to soften our value when clients hesitate or money feels tight.

But here’s what’s also true:

• Clients are consumers. And your work is not a luxury.

• People’s discomfort with spending is not a reflection of your worth.

• Spending is qualitative—how it feels to you isn’t how it feels to them. That’s a boundary worth keeping.

• The economy is a tool for manipulation as much as it is reality. Recession talk sells fear—and, out of self-protection, providers shrink in response.

So let’s stop colluding with the idea that we’re optional. We’re not.

 EMBER is open for registration

I created EMBER because too many helpers, healers, and service providers were saying:

“I want more ease—but I want my work to matter.”
“I can’t keep doing this alone.”

EMBER is where strategy and emotional integrity live side by side.
It’s a rhythm and a resource for building something sustainable—without grinding yourself down or giving up what you believe in.

You’ll get:
A monthly rhythm (teaching calls, Q&A, co-working)
A curriculum designed for helpers (marketing, pricing, boundaries, sustainability)
 A community that gets it—no coach-y hustle culture, no shame
Options for deeper support if you want coaching

We officially open August 1.
→ Orientation: August 6
→ Teaching Call: August 20
→ Open Q&A: August 23

With care,

Hilary